Absolute Playboy
by KaMoTe-FrIeS
Summary: [NarUKESEMEnaru] Naruto falls at some strange spring that has mysterious effects! Now he is in the quest to find true love before he loses control of himself! But love isn't easy when everyone can't help but fall in love with you! [pairing vote]
1. Hot Springs

Disclaimer: If I owned it then would I be writing this?

A/N: Sure, I took a lot from lots of things… anyway, if you recognize them just look up… yep, the disclaimer… Anyway, I got really influenced by this fic, Ultimate Uke Syndrome, or something like that. Bah, enough of this.

… They all love Naruto… kawaii ne?

I made the characters, older since… I just want to. Jounin, and other grown-ups stay the same though.

Naruto and all the others : 16 Neji, Temari : 18 Lee, Tenten, Kankuro : 17

"speech"

'thoughts or … things you could figure out by reading'

**uber**** exaggeration **

_flashback_

haven't decided on this one

* * *

Chapter 1 : Hot Springs

A beautiful bright day at the hot springs… that was what Naruto thought as Team 7 approached Volcano Valley for a little mission. That Valley, said to be famous for their exquisite and luxurious springs, had 'monkey problems'…

"Ahh, finally you arrive!" A man that seems to be some sort of butler(A/N: I call 'im butler cuz I dun know what to call 'im…) reviewed them with their mission objectives. "A Huge monkey, AKA 'Son Goku', has been harassing our customers lately, if you would, please exterminate it… or anything just to make it , eherm, leave…" The young man said horrified.

'Got to be careful, this monkey attacks men too…' Kakashi thought as he peeked his eye at the poor butler.

"Anyway… eherm, please take care of it as quickly as possible, and good luck in catching it." The butler waved them goodbye. 'Hmm… that's weird, I feel like I've forgotten to tell them something very very important…' The butler thought as he awaited more guests.

30 minutes passed

"Sensei, there it is!" Sakura said pointing at the 'Son Goku' who was currently taking the clothes of some poor customer. Kakashi however, was too busy staring at some random hot lady taking a bath nearby. Of course she had towels on… but sheesh, Kakashi's the imaginative kind… at least in here. Sasuke began the pursuit, and Naruto's not just standing idly like the numerous bamboo rods sticking out of the ground. Sakura dashed and Kakashi just flashed them a you-can-do-it sign.

In the hot pursuit of the said monkey, they ended up at some secluded springs, passing the 'do-not-enter' sign, which was really extremely hidden and was easy to pass, but still, they missed it.

The spotted the monkey. The monkey ran for dear life. They ran after the monkey. The monkey was so damned fast for itself. Sasuke was in the lead, but Naruto won't back down from a chance at beating that 'bastard' at something. The monkey leaped high over a spring. 'NOW!' Naruto thought as he sped up and chased after the 'flying monkey'. It was a golden opportunity and Naruto could see it come into his hands as he felt the bushy fur having contact with his fingertips…

**SPLASH**

Meanwhile (ooh, so I finally found a purpose for this)

"Oh-Ninja-sama! Oh-Ninja-sama!'(1)

Kakashi turned to the panicky lad, "Hmm? What's the matter?"

"I forgot to inform you, but if you ever go past the 'do-not-enter' sign, which was hidden incase it gets stolen by wild monkeys, please be careful not to drop into any of the springs… it has… err, mysterious effects."

"Ohh…"

end of Meanwhile

**SPLASH (or rather PLOP)**

"EEEW YUUUCCCKKK" Naruto said as he bathed in icky, yucky, blobby, slimy, not-very-pleasant and doesn't-really-smell-like-flowers guck. He wasn't lucky and guess what, he didn't even catch the stupid monkey. 'Crap.'

He looked up, only to see the reincarnation of evil-next to Sasuke and all his other I-just-know-u-r-demon-spawn acquaintances- balanced on top of a bamboo rod, squeaking and squawking and doing all sorts of random monkey noises. 'I just know it's trying to say 'stretch stick!'…' Naruto squinted his eyes at Son Goku who was now trying to charge it's power and become a super Saiyajin.

Sasuke, on the other hand was not dumb enough to fly towards gross muck like the monkey, and the other 'blonde' monkey, did. Instead, he was going for the far better approach. 'I wonder how fried monkey taste like… urk…' He quickly made the hand seals needed for his specialty, Katon Goukakyuu no jutsu.

On the sidelines, Sakura squinted. The smell was awfully familiar. She tried to sniff more, but her nose just didn't wanna. "What in the world is this foul smell!" covering her nose.

"_What in the world is this foul smell!" Sakura said as she covered her nose._

"_Jeez, haven't you seen decaying flowers? What you can smell is methane, and if you inhale too much of it, your forehead would probably explode!" Ino laughed out._

"_And why would it explode?"_

"_Because the sun would reflect and create some sparks at your excessively large forehead! And since methane is flammable…"_

"**METHANE?**** SASUKE-KUN STOP!"ooh**, but she was too late. With a whip of wind…

**KABOOM!** (**BAM!**** BLAG! BOOM!…** after effects…)

After the explosion, the monkey was indeed a fried dish, and Naruto was well… dancing in flames… or rather dying in flames.

"**EAAAAAAAAGH!**** I'M ON FIRE! GYAAAAH! AAAAAAAH! HOOOOOOT! OOOW! AAAAH!"**

It was a good thing that Sakura, who avoided the whole ordeal by simply using a ground jutsu, knew some medic-nin skills, or Naruto might have as well been a fried dish. Naruto passed out, and Sakura tended to his wounds, though she wanted to tend Sasuke's(if he had any) a lot lot more. The raven hair, much on the other hand, was unscathed due his sharingan that was sooo powerful, he only had to look at the flames and they'd scurry away.

"Hoho, what happened here?" Kakashi appeared with the poor ol' butler who is seemingly unaffected by the explosion. Actually he was wearing quite a happy face.

"Actually…" Sakura tried to explain, but Sasuke interrupted, holding the fried monkey, who gladly didn't turn to dust, like it was some sort of war trophy.

"Great! Thanks for your good work, and you even wrecked the place, wow! And we thought of hiring those expensive demolition crews to handle that." The butler excitedly chirped.

Silence…

Then…

Sweatdrop…

Kakashi put the half-burned-to-death Naruto on his back, and was ready to return to Konoha when "Say, did anyone fall into the pools around here?" Kakashi questioned. Everyone nodded. And Naruto, he could only murmur

"… urgh, kame hame… wave…"

to be continued...

* * *

(1) Oh-Ninja-sama : It's actually from Samurai 7's "Oh-Samurai-sama!"… I just replaced Samurai with Ninja… which most people wouldn't get unless you've seen Samurai 7. 

A/N: Ack… what an extremely long intro… Anyway feel free to review… they are much appreciated. Oh yeah, please vote on who Naruto would end up with, whether it be a guy or a girl. Naruto's fate rests upon your hands, so use that mouse of yours and click the review button!


	2. Back to Konoha

Disclaimer: Here we go again… you know the answer... wink

A/N: Hnn, yeah.

Ack, anyway, here's the polls.

Temari – I

Kakashi – I

OC (girl) – I

Sakura – I

Ino - II

No one even voted for Sasuke! Fufufufu, anyway, feel free to give suggestions and stuff. On to the story…

* * *

Chapter 2 : Back to Konoha

"I can't believe he's still passed out…" Kakashi glanced at the sleeping blonde behind him. The team was on their way back to the Leaf Village with certain problems…

"_What! We're in deep trouble!" The butler said all panicky._

"_Explain" Sasuke said coolly… No need to get panicky over some usuratonkachi. Kakashi, who had the now fainted Naruto on his back, wore an expression of worry. Sakura was worried too, and thanks god that the stange 'water' which was more like gooey blobs of evil, didn't get to soil her clothes._

"_Eherm, um… we better head back, this is going to be quite long…" The man with swirls exchanged for eyes(since he'd been panicky and decided to run around to release stress) lead them to the main quarters._

_Team 7 sat down, except for Naruto who was still sleeping, and was offered tea._

"_Eherm, you see… those pools, they're actually filled with ancient voodoo magic and once you bathe in them **mysterious effects will occur**" The butler breathed out the last words like venom and an eerie aura had started to swirl around him._

"_What effects? Nothing's happening to him yet…" Sakura, the ever scrutinizing member, asked the young man, who was now rid of the eerie fog and replaced with an 'I-don't-know' attitude. Team 7 squinted their eyes._

"_Eh, err, ah, maybe the effects were umm… postponed! Yeah that's it, since your friend is still sleeping and all… (insert sheepish laugh)" _

"_What about the cure?"_

"_Erm…"_

"…"

_Silence…_

"_DON'T TELL US THERE'S NO CURE!" Team 7 roared harmoniously. The poor butler bleached from the harmony of the 3. Kakashi's silent death glare(it's even scarier with only one eye), Sasuke's burning anger, and Sakura's extremely powerful inner self. Yes, they all spelled 'U R DED'._

"_Eherm… I, I'm not s-saying there's n-no cure" The butler was tremebling in fright, then, he remembered something very, very important… once again. 'Oh no! They wrecked the springs!'_

"_The t-truth is… the cure… was wrecked along with all the other ancient voodoo ones. B-but wait! There's another cure!" Oh yeah, they were going to bite his head off… and maybe, if he's lucky, they won't censored bleep bleep toot toot him._

"_Other cure?" _

"_Ugh… Y-Yeah, he has to find a 'true love' and with the power of that, he'll be invincible! I-I mean, he'll be cured…" The butler said stuttering, as he watched Team 7 move out of the lodging and onto their journey back. 'Well, as they say, love conquers all…'(1)_

The team was now back at Konoha, visiting Naruto at the hospital. It might be because of the Kyuubi, Sakura's ingenious medic skills or the hospital's life support system, that Naruto looks fine without a single burn mark.

Sakura who was sitting next to Sasuke, glanced at Naruto. 'Actually, he looks far better even when he was still fine… Maybe even a little more handsome… ACK! What was I thinking!' She blushed. She did not just think that Naruto was handsome when her 'prince' Sasuke was sitting right beside her.

"Sensei…" The Uchiha spoke up. "… so, what were the mysterious effects?"

Silence…

"YOU DIDN'T KNOW?" The two genins erupted.

Kakashi just scratched the back of his head, "Ahahaha, don't worry, we'll know soon enough… Anyway, I'll go ahead and talk to Godaime about his condition, you two are also dismissed." He said as he disappeared in a puff of smoke. Inner Sakura made a hell yeah pose, as she were going to be alone with Sasuke, however, he swooped out the door casually leaving Sakura behind.

"Mou! Sasuke-kun lets have a date!" She followed after his steps. And just like that, Naruto was left alone.

"Urrr, I'm hungry…" Naruto stirred as he pushed the nurse button. He felt a little dizzy, maybe from hunger. Man, what he'd do to get some miso ramen right about now.

Just as he was hallucinating about Ichiraku ramen, the beautiful young nurse stepped in. The girl, who looked about Naruto's age, had long her black hair tied in a pig tail and two tantalizing golden eyes. She was like a traditional Japanese beauty, the type that looks good in kimonos. She was walking towards Naruto carrying a tray with a glass of water. Naruto sat up, and admired the pretty nurse in front of him.

"Ah!" The Nurse gasp as she tripped. She should have just concentrated on walking and not gawking at the handsome blonde. Naruto heated up, and somehow time seemed slower than usual. Unconsciously moving, he ended up breaking the nurse's fall without any drips of water from the ground.

"Ara?" He found himself having the Nurse in one hand, and the tray in another. 'Did I just perform some incredibly outrageous stunt?' He asked himself, and once again, he unconsciously read the name tag of the furiously blushing nurse.

"Are you okay, Kurone-san?" Naruto said coolly and bubbles of shoujo goodness appeared at the scene. Naruto stared at the nurse with his 'tantalizing eyes' making her blush all the more. 'This person is really pretty!' He cheered himself on.

"I-I'm fine thank you, actually I'm new to this nursing thing, since I'm just a volunteer... ahaha, but I'm still clumsy. Sorry about that." Kurone-san stared at the ground, and the blush subsided. Noticing that she was still in his hold, she turned to face the sparkly aqua of his eyes, and blushed once again. 'I think I'm gonna faint…'

"When do you get out?"

"What?" She was snapped out of her fluffy thoughts. 'Is he telling me to get out?' Standing with lightning speed, her crimson face still red as beet, she apologized. 'He must think I was heavy…'

"Work… when do you get out?"

"Umm, I was just going to get my stuff when you ringed and…" She couldn't even finish her sentence as Naruto grabbed her hand. She can't help but gasp, surprised that a patient would do this, 'But I guess it isn't all that bad' she thought.

"Let's go eat ramen then! I don't have any money, so I thought I'd bring you along! Don't worry I'm going to pay you back! I promise!" Naruto said in his bouncy attitude, with a flash of his trademark fox smirk.

Looking him up and down, Kurone-san noticed that they were both still in 'hospital wear'. "Ano, I think we better change our clothes first…" She suggested.

"Then I'll meet you outside the hospital then, please don't forget about me okay?" Kurone-san was surprised at his seductive way of saying that. Was he trying to make her faint and kidnap her, then sell her limbs to the black market if no one came with ransom? Hah, of course not. She mentally laughed at herself. 'He needs me for ramen'

"Wait…"

Just as she reached the door knob, he held on to her other wrist. She didn't bother turning around, avoiding embarrassment now that her face was flushed from the contact. 'Even though he's probably seen me like that…' He turned her around, almost forcibly…

"You…" His strong gaze pierced deep into in her stomach and released the butterflies. "You haven't told me your full name yet… I'm Uzumaki Naruto…"

"I-I'm Kurone Koneko…" And she was gone.

"Kurone Koneko? Koneko-chan? Kurone Koneko…" He repeated the name… before bursting out laughing. (1)

Meanwhile

**WOOSH**

"Hey, was that just a tomato?"

"What? It looked like Kurone-san."

"Hmmm, I don't think I'll have the cafeteria's Mexican burritos for lunch. "

Meanwhile Meanwhile…

Tsunade pick up the details of Naruto's condition and reads it aloud.

"Hmm? Absolute Playboy? Hehe, this'll be interesting…"

"What about it Hokage-sama?" Kakashi asked out of concern.

"Naruto's ancient voodoo curse… He'll be like a love magnet, to girls and boys. The cure is long gone as well as the source, so we have to rely on what your butler guy's said to us…"

Kakashi sighed… well that wasn't pretty troublesome, besides the boy could fall in love whenever he wants... Tsunade looked troubled though; a dark depressing feeling surrounded her.

"This is an emergency, we have to make Naruto fall in love as quick as possible or the next generations will… our children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren will…"

**GULP**

"**ALL LOOK LIKE NARUTO!**"

to be continued…

* * *

(1) Kurone Koneko: Kuroneko actually means black cat, in which I modeled the OC after. He laughed because… Kurone Koneko means black cat… yeah, I know… lame. 

A/N: Ack, I made the lousy OC for cryin' out loud. I was planning a very different OC, but this just had a feeling of, normal, in every way. Oh well, from here starts Naruto being a seme, once he encounters a guy he'll be an uke… and so on. Oh yeah, please vote, the fic won't be ending anytime soon, and you can put anyone whom you want paired with Naruto. Yaoi, uke, seme, whatever. Anyway, Review!


End file.
